Yukky Gardening

This year I decided to plant a garden.

There's this "dad" in me that sorta wants me to be domestic. I'm not the typical sorta dad, my son likes the Ramones and Dillinger Escape Plan and is 5 years old. I have these CD's that I have burnt with kid friendly punk rock and metal on them, and that is what I play when he is awake. I don't want him to learn to cuss, but I also want him to know more than the crap that is on the radio. However, I always have this nagging fear that there should be a sense of normalcy in his upbringing. Thus the garden.

Last year, I planted Kentucky Colonel Mint and forgot to buy any other plants. This resulted in my entire garden becoming a mint patch, which I learned is an "intrusive" plant. This is no joke. If you don't put up a good enough border, mint will creep into your house and steal your beer. This year, I dug up the mint in all the places I didn't want it, all the while being "hollered at" by Colonels from Kentucky. (state motto: "If it's brown and ain't whiskey, you should be flushin' it.) I then placed a brick border around the mint patch to curb it's larceny. The result:

If you look, the mint is already trying to creep over my border. I may have to send it to the brig. Now, because this year I was planting a proper "garden," I wanted to have other plants. But the problem is I don't like most vegetables. I did some thinking and decided I wanted to plant baby spinach, as I like this for salads. Iceberg lettuce sucks:

I planted squash, but I realized I hate squash. So I ripped that bastard out and planted lemon-balm instead. (If anyone knows what to do with this, I'm all ears.) I planted it cuz it smells nice:

I planted onions to chop up and put in to my burgers and meatloaf. These are just lil' guys right now, so that's my finger pointing at the the infant onions:

I just love pesto, and I knew it had some green shit in it, so I figured out what it was and planted some of it. (It's BASIL!):
These are peas or beans, I forget which I bought. I hope they're beans:

These are chives. I have no idea what to do with these things. But they did get some flowers that fell over:

And finally, these are cherry tomatoes. I personally think tomatoes look like afterbirth, but my son would rather eat them than candy. So these are for him. I know I don't need that big ass stick in there yet, but I put it in anyway to give them some encouragement to grow huge:

Well that's it. I also have some flowers strewn about the house, but I got tired of taking pictures and went on a hike instead. If anyone knows what the hell I can do with lemon balm or chives, it would be great if you could clue me in.

Farmer Yuk